queen of anxiety & procrastination

When it comes to exercise I play this really bizarre mind game with myself. I do almost anything and everything to avoid it. I spend hours playing games with myself. It is now 4 30 in the afternoon. I decided that I can only do exercise first thing when I wake up ( when I am off from work ) or right after work. I have had off due to the snow storms here in NY and guess what? I have played a constant game with myself all day long. I wish I had a damn physcology degree. What is up with me??!!! I have this deep seeded thing in myself where I like to accomplish several things in one day but I always leave a loose end somewhere. I will clean the whole house from top to bottom but leave one room. That sort of thing. I think I spend a lot of time, too much time, feeling sorry for myself. For what? I hate complainers and I hate people who moan when they have no real problems. Why should I be any different? Why don't I hold myself up to the same thing I hate. Really I am too hard on myself. I do many great and wonderful things in my home and for my kids. I always think because I am fat that they don't matter but they do. Well.... this was another way for me to avoid exercising by blogging here with you. I am going to get off now and I think I will do it. Let's see. I'll let ya' know!

sashe-mambo

I have been exercising about 5 or 6 days a week using a weight watchers cd. I have to say it is pretty darn good. I think I got it on sale when I used to attend. I had lost 22 pounds back then but gained back at least 15 of those 22. Oh well.... I'm done harping on the past. I HATE hate HATE hate to get up and exercise. When I am done I feel like a champ though. I have learned that if I don't get it out of the way first thing in the morning on the weekends or right after school it just doesn't happen. I have to cook , clean, do homework with the kids, list on Ebay, teach religion, bring kids to their activities, doctor appointments and life takes over. Exercise does not happen. So it is just something I have to do. I am using it to sort of kick start my weight loss. I am not obsessing about the food component. I am being mindful but not ready to dive in head first. Over eating compulsively is definitely something that keeps me from dealing with heartache and money problems. I realize this now more than ever. It is something I really need to deal with. I will though. In my time... in due time....