Measurements

Okay I did it. I measured myself this morning. Crazy numbers! Who cares though really? This is not about being perfect. This is about me , for me and for anyone else who is convinced they have to stay in a rut, in one place mentally and physicallY because I know ( and you will eventually too ) that it's all garbage! Those inner "ick" tapes.... burn them, recycle them.... they're useless! So here are my numbers, Hips-41 1/2 inches, biceps-14 inches, Chest? I don't know if this is right. I held it behind my back and kind of lifted my boobs! I had no bra on LOL ....this was 44 inches,thigh-26 1/2 inches and my calf 17 1/2 inches. I will try again in a month or so and see if anything changes. Mind you I have NO exercise routine in place, I am not looking to become a gym rat or a muscle head. I just want to be mindful of my body. I want to figure this out in my own way!

I had lunch. It was yummy!! thing is I saw a bag of hard pretzel nuggets sitting next to me at the computer and wanted to go to town!!! I ate two and then stopped. I "thought" about what I was doing. I was not hungry in the least. In fact I was full from lunch! One victory down.

I am off to spend some time with friends today and to wear the dreaded 'swimsuit'!.... That's okay though, I think part of this battle is needing to love myself now, during and after... so off I go!

Here are a few pictures of me at 163 pounds. Yes, I know we all look in tip top shape on our wedding days but still.... it's a good motivator. It was 13 years ago. I am not morning my youth at all. I am not looking at these pictures thinking " aww, I wish I had that hair again, I wish I had that face again" or anything like that. I am happy with my age and who I am. There is NO use in looking back only forward. These pictures are to 'capture" a feeling that I want to feel again....