it's raining,it's pouring

Saturday is my usual day for cleaning. Now that I am 43 years old and 40 some odd pounds over weight I can't seem to clean the way I used too. I take it at leisure. To tell you the truth I sort of like it this way. I actually like to be home. I do not have the money to make my house the home I really dream of but little by little and very slowly, while I pull my life together, I am getting there. I have so many dreams for my house but for now? I have to appreciate what I have. Again, I really like to be home. I need a lap top so that I do not have top spend so much time in this basement. Although it was redone it needs to be painted and cleaned up a bit. It's time. Some lights are out and well... it's not very uplifting. I am finding, very much so, that life is too short not to love your surroundings and everything in it.

I am being conscious of what I put in my mouth today. I am not making any bold statements but know that eating 35 to 40 points a day keeps me at this weight and eating 28 makes me lose. I have been eating 35 to 40 everyday.

Be back later. I want to find and write about some inspirational things.

sad days

It's not the same anymore. My life is not feeling like it did a few months back. I felt empowered and ready to tackle anything. I saw endless possiblities in the smallest of things. Each day lately is a struggle mentally in one way or another. Sometimes I don't know who to trust and I suppose the only people I can really trust are first myself and then my two children.

I am eating my life away day in and day out. It's a drug for sure.

I am just going to write because making these bold statements about how well I am going to do or how well I feel would be nothing but empty promises and there's nothing I hate more than that.

I can't stand whiny people yet I feel like lately this is all I do with myself.

I need help. I need to buckle my boot straps and pull them suckers up! I am NOT going down like this. No way and no how. I will find my way. Maybe writing would be a good beginning...